For everything there is a weasel!

I'm currently working on another one of my award winning musical jokes, it goes a little something like this:

To the tune of 'Cocaine', Eric Clapton

She's alright
She's alright
She's alright,

Novocaine.

Then I'd just do some dribbling on the floor and some aaaaaah-ing.

Seriously, you read it here first.

The other thing I'm working on is a 4 part serial story to be syndicated on this very page. Its kind of like a who-dunnit without the 'dunnit' or, to put it another way, a murder mystery without the murder.

There will be at least one twist, and it maybe well be that I write one episode whilst I am suspended from a crane, who knows. You'll have to wait and see.

Its about the conversation I had with a man on top of a hill, so we'll see what you think.

Recently I'd been seeing less and less of Herbert, the eponymous hero of the Herbertians, a race of large necked geese from the darker regions of Scandinavia. Its all true, I swear.

I managed to track him down and see what he'd been doing with his time and I was very surprised at his answer.

'What have I been doing? Well let me fill you in. The other day, well, week now I come to think of it, I saw Wallace and Gromit's Grand Designs. Its where two plasticine figures redecorate someones house largely through the use of ingenious inventions and a liberal sprinkling of trap-doors.

A short time after I also watched 'The Presitge' which has a fair old use of trap-doors in it too. And I thought to myself, what if Nick Park is really Christopher Nolan and he's cottoned onto the fact that trap-doors are a portal to an alternate reality, one where I'm a pygmy woman, happily married with 13 kids.'

'Wow.' I responded. 'So you've found this alternate reality, the place where you're a happy pygmy wife and mother? Whats it like, tell me all.' I edged closer, eager to learn all of his secrets, when suddenly the ground dissapeared beneath me. As I fell I heard a giraffe's giggle for the first time and him say off handedly

'Nope, just been dying to try out our trap-door!'

Rascal!