Monetise my eyes

I will charge you for looking at me, that is my new plan.

There is a button up there when I write these things that says Monetise. I don't like this button, mostly because it implies I'm not already receiving money from people for reading my things, but also because the button is owned by the evil elgoog, who I've casually disguised.

But I was free associating the word monetise and I went for rhymes - which led me to eyes.

Conversely my eyes lead me to most things, even when I'm short of my fantastic visionorama aids Win XP SP3. To be lead around by the knackers is a corruption of an expression I've similarly just free associated but an interesting theory when talking about the elgoog, who seem to have most people by the hair where their bits should be.

I'm no conspiracy theorist - I leave that to my other personalities - but when someone does something there are consequences and without being more specific in the first part of the sentence I cannot really fully expand in the latter portion.

This is what happens when you frustrate a person, they fume, unless they're not a French smoker in which case they probably have a blog; even I have a blog.

And I mostly don't care.

But back to my plan, to charge you for use of my physical representation, or being a consumer of it. Before I go any further if this is the year 2032 and you are trying to use this blog to set a legal precedent please don't, I'm very tired and really not to be trusted for that kind of thing.

Of course if it's 2045 then go right ahead, I'm aiming to not be in the country then anyway.

Back to my plan.

When you look at me, what do you see? Me, right? Right. So, who owns me? I do. And I've decided I'm not free, so you're going to have to pay to see me. Rich and famous people do this all the time, so I figure I might as well give it a crack. Unless you're someone I like in which case it's free for the first twenty times.

The only problem I can see is if I were to see someone who is equal to or > < my value, in which case we'll have to work on some complex bartering system, or just close our eyes, feel around and pretend we haven't seen each other.

Wasn't the world a much easier place when elgoog weren't inspiring this kind of thing?