Breakfast

So there I sat, pondering the day to come with Herbert opposite me. Herbert is our resident Christmas Ninja Giraffe. He's quite a deep thinker Herbert and I think some of his musings may meander onto this page from time to time. Its good to have a recurring character you can cop out with.

'Hmm,' mumbled Herbert 'Sugar Puffs taste great and they're only 114 calories, thats gotta be a record.'

'Interesting,' I responded non-committaly 'but hardly record worthy. Now Weetabix, theres a snack worth singing about.' I paused for a moment, partly for dramatic affect and partly to collect my rhymes.

'Weetabix,
Not sure what you're made of, exactly.
Weetabix,
The breakfast choice of Michael Flately.
Weetabix,
Releasing energy throughout the day.
Weetabix,
Better than a poke in the eye.'

Herbert eyed me suspiciously from his suspicious eye - his left in case you're wondering - and said thoughtfully 'Oscar winning stuff, that.'
I puffed up my chest with pride until I realised he was being sarcastic, the melancholy moose-reject.

'Thanks for that' I sarcasted right back 'when I'm collecting royalties for the Weetabix ditty I won't be asking your opinion on my Frosties work, thats for sure!' In a little bit of a huff I left for work.

Why I do this I don't know, theres not really much to do at work and today we got a new all printing all dancing printer so it made my day even easier! Even easier I hear you cry in exasperation, how could something even be that easy!

Hey, I'd respond, its not easy making tea for all the people that come and do more work than me, I have to remember who takes sugar and who doesn't and everything!

Actually, as I was doing a little work I realised I was licking an empty envelope... just habit I guess. Its quite depressing when you realise that, not only do you lick envelopes for a living, but you also just randomly start licking when theres nothing better to do.*
Its like that time I started straightening the Uno cards at the regional championships just because I straighten things all day at work. I eventually got kicked out of the WWFUP (World Wide Federation of Uno Players, or the Wofup as we like to call it) because they thought I was cheating! How dare they, even though I was, I'm offended; do I really look like that kind of person? Eye patch excepted of course.

Outrageous things keep happening to me actually, just this morning I did more non work than usual, resulting in a calm and casual atmosphere in the office and general nice time had by all. Outrageous! Then when it came to the afternoon I didn't even have to hurry my Corned Beef Hash, I could just enjoy it and then get on with some of the more pressing elements of my non working timetable, like wondering why squirrels resemble furry lindt speciality chocolates...

So there we are, its just like Herbert said to me this morning as I sat and ate my breakfast 'If it freaks you out so much, why do you keep poking it?'

He's deep that giraffe.




*This may be slightly exaggerated...